BY: MARK KONING

This time of year, I often find myself singing along to that old Christmas carol, ‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year.’ Having said that, I also often find myself asking if that’s really the case.

We are in a season that can be full of cheer and magical moments, but as a brain injury survivor, the season can also be stressful and tiring. I feel more isolated during the Holiday Season than at any other time of year. It is a tug of war as I go back and forth, I enjoy the festive times, but they take their toll.

I look forward to the memories and experiences the holidays bring; an ‘Ugly Christmas Sweater’ party, watching Die Hard (what I consider the staple Christmas movie), the Santa parade (which, in my home town is done at night where you can get an awesome effect from the lights regardless of how much snow is on the ground), a Christmas Open House and hanging beautiful lights outside my house. I cherish these things, but I also need to pace myself. If I am not careful, it all can become too overwhelming, depressing even.

Where is the snow I remember as a youngster and into my teens? The kind I could build forts from, have snowball fights with, and make snow angels in. It seems to be few and far between.

Maybe I just don’t have the energy I used to. I get a little impatient with an overabundance of too many Christmas tunes, but at the same time they can get me rockin’ and into the festive mood.

There are two types of people in the world: those who think die hard is a Christmas movie and those who are wrong

I love this time of year, and I also dread it. What is up with that? Is it the familiar territory of my brain injury not knowing what direction to go in? I can tell you I’d rather believe in Santa and his reindeer than deal with this ongoing fatigue and confusion.

I love seeing the smiles from my niece and nephew after they unwrap their gifts, but navigating large crowds at the mall can be frustrating and painful. My head can only handle so much, so I try my best to avoid the consumerism of the season. The fact that there seems to be so much build up only to have it all go by so quickly can also be disparaging.

Is it simply the time of year? The lack of sun, the cold and the damp, these elements do not help my fragile mind. Christmas in July then? Perhaps. But maybe I just need to carry this spirit of the holidays with me all year round. Maybe I should put that in a note to leave with the cookies and milk I put out by the fireplace on the 24th.  Hmm.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Mark’s passion to lend a helping hand, offer advice and give back, has developed into a moral and social responsibility with the goal of sharing, inspiring and growing, for others as well as himself. His experience as a Survivor, Caregiver, Mentor and Writer, has led to his credibility as an ABI Advocate and author of his life’s story, Challenging Barriers & Walking the Path. Follow him on Twitter @Mark_Koning or go to www.markkoning.com.